Wedding Thank You Card Etiquette for Newlyweds

Should you send a thank you card to every wedding guest? Are wedding thank you cards only meant for gifts? What do you write in one? What is proper wedding thank you card etiquette anyway?

We’ll let you know all the wedding thank you card etiquette and help newly married couples prepare to send their post-event messages. Which wedding guests should receive thank you cards, how to write them, and what to say, it’s all in here. If you want to craft considerate messages that follow wedding thank you card etiquette standards, we can help.

Write personalized post-wedding messages that follow wedding thank you card etiquette

Writing wedding thank you cards is an important part of showing your appreciation for all of the effort, time, and money your wedding guests spent on your behalf. Wow your wedding guests with beautiful, thoughtful, and personalized post-event thank you notes they’ll cherish forever.

Who should receive a wedding thank you card?

Thank you cards should be sent to each wedding guest that provided the couple with a gift, whether they attended the wedding or not. Gift-givers should not be the only recipients; wedding thank you cards should also be sent to:

• Members of the wedding party
• The officiant
• Wedding vendors
• Wedding shower hosts
• Pre-wedding party planners
• Wedding attendants
• Wedding planners and coordinators
• Musicians, entertainers, etc.

Cards should be sent for gifts received prior to the wedding, on the day, and soon after the event. Express your appreciation to everyone who contributed to your wedding day or helped to make it special.

Wedding thank you card etiquette standards

Wedding thank you card etiquette is not as rigid or formal as you may think. By following a few formatting and deadline guidelines, you can send wedding thank you cards that fit your personal style and touch the hearts of each recipient.  

• Addressing wedding thank you cards

Send one thank you card per couple or per household. Wedding etiquette does not require sending a note to each individual wedding guest.

TIP: If you’re ordering cards based on the number of households or couples in attendance in advance, order 10-20% more than you estimate needing to help account for last-minute changes, estimation mistakes, and surprise wedding gifts.

• Sending cards on time

Etiquette dictates that newly married couples have no more than three months to send wedding thank you cards after the event. After the hustle and bustle of the wedding day winds down, the honeymoon begins, and then the process of adjusting to married life. It’s a busy time, and three months may feel like a short deadline. Keep in mind, however, that your friends and family took the time and spent the money to attend your wedding and provide you with a gift. Show your genuine appreciation by promptly sending thank you cards to wedding guests, friends, and family.

TIP: While three months is the deadline, sending wedding thank you cards within two weeks to a month is even better.

• Etiquette for pre-wedding gifts

Guests may send wedding gifts prior to the wedding itself, at the bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, or other pre-wedding events. If you receive a gift prior to the wedding, you are free to send a thank you card early or wait until after the wedding.

TIP: If you respond to a pre-wedding gift before the wedding, sign thank you cards using your maiden name. Consider ordering a few thank you cards with your printed maiden name, just in case.

• Signing wedding thank you cards

It used to be common practice for both of the newlyweds to send and sign their own thank you cards, but now both parties’ names tend to appear on a single wedding thank you card.

How to write a wedding thank you card

Writing a wedding thank you card doesn’t have to be a complicated process, but it should be personalized. While you certainly can order thank you cards in advance with pre-printed messages, we recommend against it.

Write sincere, personalized wedding thank you cards in five simple steps:

Step 1: Address the thank you card

A wedding thank you card should be addressed to each guest who signed the card for a wedding gift or each person from the receiving household who was present at the wedding.

Step 2: Thank guests for attending

Whether the recipient attended the wedding or a pre-wedding event, express your appreciation for their presence in your message. Let guests know that you are genuinely grateful that they were able to share in your celebration and that their attendance meant a lot to you.

TIP: Include a specific memory or mention a special moment that you shared at the wedding to further personalize your message.

Step 3: Mention the gift specifically

Whether you receive a physical, monetary gift, or experience, name the gift specifically in your message:

• “We received the gorgeous vase you gifted us, and we absolutely love it.”
• “We want to express our thanks for the generous contribution you made to our honeymoon fund.”

Mentioning the gift specifically will show that you’ve taken the time write personalized cards, and you’re not sending generic printouts to save time.

TIP: In thank you cards to vendors, planners, or your officiant, mention the specific service that they provided and how it made your wedding better.

Step 4: Describe how the gift will be used

Knowing they gifted you something that you will actually use will please your friends, family, and loved ones greatly. After mentioning the wedding gift by name, tell thank you card recipients what you intend to do with the gift:

• “The vase is going to look beautiful in our living room.”
• “With your donation, we booked a candlelit chef’s dinner, and we are so excited!”
        
Step 5: Personalize your closing

Close the thank you card by adding a personalized signature. “With love”, “All our love”, or “Love and best wishes” are popular

TIP: Both newlyweds should sign the card. Avoid printed signatures.

Don’t forget to let your voice into your note. It will only increase the feeling that you personally are thanking them for their love and generosity. If you’re looking for inspiration on what to write inside your wedding thank you cards, there are a variety of online templates and wording examples available online.  

Unique wedding thank you card ideas

Following wedding thank you card etiquette doesn’t mean you have to slack on style. These fun ideas can take your wedding thank-you cards to the next level:

• Choose a thank you card with a design or print.
• Elevate standard white thank you cards with a pressed image or design.
• Include photos from the wedding on the front of the card for a personalized touch. Discuss this with your photographer beforehand, as you will need to receive photos quickly.
• Do you have a home printer? Think about purchasing a wedding thank you card template and printing the cards at home to save on shipping.
• Add elements of your wedding theme by including lace, burlap, or florals to your wedding thank you card design.
• Add a pop of color to the front of your wedding thank you cards with a silver or gold foil stamp.
• Send a personalized thank you gift to wedding party members, special guests, or as a wedding gift for parents. Write your message on a custom soap dish, pendant, charm, watch, tie, or another item.
• Did you have a destination wedding? Write your post-wedding thank you notes on postcards from your destination.

If you’re looking for inspiration or design ideas, there are a variety of online stationary resources that can help. Minted.com offers a massive library of thank you card designs, wedding invitations, save-the-dates, place cards, and other printed wedding materials. Minted’s wedding collection has more than 700 thank you card designs to choose from. Basic Invite, Magnet Street, PaperSource, and Paper Culture all offer a variety of wedding thank you card designs and styles to choose from as well.

5 wedding thank you card tips and best practices

Writing wedding thank you cards can take a while to complete, especially for large weddings. These tips and best practices can help streamline the process, making it easier for newlyweds to send out thank you cards in a timely fashion.

1. Order thank you cards early so you have them on hand when it’s time to start writing.
2. Consider ordering thank you cards when you order wedding invitations. Look for promotional codes or bundled pricing specials to save money on your wedding invitations.
3. Start writing your wedding thank you cards early, while the memory of your wedding day is still fresh.
4. Create a comfortable, distraction-free area for thank you card writing. Hop into your comfiest sweatpants, grab a glass of wine or cup of tea, and cozy up with your partner to help make the task feel less daunting.
5. Can’t complete the task in one sitting? Commit to writing a specific number each night, or a few nights every week until they are complete.

Additional wedding thank you card etiquette FAQs

1. Should I write a thank you card for each event?

While writing thank you cards for wedding gifts is a necessity, we recommend showing gratitude for gifts received at any wedding event.

2. Can I email wedding thank you cards?

While you can technically email thank you cards, we don’t recommend it. Sending an email goes against everything wedding etiquette represents: showing your gratitude by taking the time to write something personal.

3. Can I use pre-printed wedding thank you cards?

Wedding etiquettes expert say that—under no circumstances—should married couples use wedding thank you cards with pre-printed inside messages. Experts at TheAmericanWedding.com say it is appropriate to order cards with “Thank you” already printed on the front, but that the internal message should always be handwritten and personalized.

4. If I receive multiple gifts from one person, should I send a thank you card for each?

If you receive a gift from the same person at multiple wedding events, wedding etiquette suggests that you send an individual thank you card for each event.
    

Use your knowledge of wedding thank you card etiquette in thoughtful notes to friends and family

You’re ready to craft one-of-a-kind unique wedding thank you cards for gifts you receive, but have you prepared for all of the gifts you’ll be giving? Up next, we explore 35 cheap wedding gift ideas to help couples give back without breaking budget.